This weekend, I saw the movie Brothers. Have you ever made a bad choice and then regretted it later? I don't really expect you to answer that, I already know your answer. :)
Tobey Maquire (Spider Man) makes a really bad choice in this movie. But his choice, to many, will seem justifiable under the given circumstances. One thing you can usually count on, if you ever wonder about that choice you made, and whether it was right or not, don't worry. Your gut, your instincts, your emotions, and your actions will answer it for you after the fact.
Tobey was a good guy in this movie, a good friend, brother, dad, and husband. But he made one huge wrong choice (some of you may not agree with me). But we don't have to agree, just look at how he turns out after making the choice. If you haven't seen the movie, I suggest you do.
Sometimes making the right choices are tough, but right choices never take us closer to evil, or closer to "bad". And that's exactly what his choice did. He became a bad person, a bad friend, brother, dad, and husband. He paid the consequences for what seemed like his best choice at the moment. Sound familiar? I can't even begin to explain to you how many sure-thing holes I have dug myself into.
Here are two things I try to ask myself when I'm faced with a difficult choice. If I make this choice, will it;
- take me closer or further from God?
- take me closer to love or closer to fear?
You may not always know or perceive the answers at the moment. But if you can answer either, you've got yourself a sure solution. Those two questions have saved me a lot of heartache. I'm amazed at how, even as much as I discuss Personal Growth, coach others, speak about it, and write about it - even still my ego, flesh, selfishness, and fears will try to make some choices seem like the absolute ones to make. If i'm fortunate I will nail it with the two questions above. Often the answers will crush my ego and allow me to, reluctantly at times, back away and avoid making the bad choice.
What strategies do you use?
Knock'em alive!
James
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Brothers
Your blog influenced me to watch the movie. I agree, he made a bad choice. The movie does an excellent job showing the consequences to his choice. This is an extreme example of how sin has painful consequences. We do this on a much smaller scale daily. According to Romans 6:23, Paul; states "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (NIV). Most of us think of death as taking our final breathe, however in this movie, Tobey's quality of life after this bad choice is a good representation of what I think Paul is trying to say. It didnt take him suffering long before he wished he had of died with dignity.On a positive note, I would like to see a sequel to the movie that shows his repentance and redemption with a happy ending. Kinda like King David in Psalm 51. We are blessed and serve a Mighty God.Love ya James, thanks for feeding me!
Sequel would be cool
The fact the movie ended right when he confessed leaves much to the imagination. He had a huge challenge to overcome but he did finally make a huge step forward.
I'm sorry to say, I don't
I'm sorry to say, I don't usually ask myself either of those two questions, even though I've heard you say that time and time again. My problem seems to be that i just can't say no!! I'm not talking about things like drugs or alcohol, I'm talking about things that I really can do to say help someone out or loan them money or a place to say. If they ask if I have what ever it might be, and I do then I feel as if I am lying if I say no. So there I go down a path I shouldn't just because I don't want to tell a lie.
When to say no
Ron,
It sounds like you have a good heart. Saying "no" is OK but sometimes it takes tough love. If I ask you for something and you have it you can tell me (honestly) you don't have it available for me. Just because you have something doesn't mean it's available for the world. Or those who are close to you and may take advantage of you.
The question I would ask myself is, "why do I always say "yes"? Am I helping the other person or helping me feel better about myself? Or maybe both? There's nothing wrong with any of the answers. And saying "yes" is great, provided it doesn't start enabling bad behavior...both from the giver and the receiver.
James